From: "Gizmo" Subject: The Adventures Of Smacks Past - 19r (Through The Eyes Of A Child) Date: Sunday, November 10, 2002 2:17 PM THE ADVENTURES OF SMACKS PAST (PART 19r) THROUGH THE EYES OF CHILD Copyright Gizmo 1996, Revised 2002 Here's the wrap on the four part "FLAMING KNIVES" story. This story, which I originally penned back in 1996 became the nag that caused me to write the four part saga of "The Flaming Knives." As indicated, not really a Heroin story, but all part of the drug experience, and it's a pretty odd one at that. I don't want to say too much up front or I'll give it all away, so I'll let the story tell itself. ______________________________________________ It was the spring or summer of 1973 I believe. I had quit Heroin via a low dose Methadone regimen and than completely detoxed off that too about a year earlier and during this time and for the next year or so to come, I remained "hard drug" free. There was no shortage of money, doing a brisk trade in kilo's, pounds, half pounds etc. It was a great business to be in at the time. I was also living with someone whom I'd been involved with for the past two years. She was not a hard drug user, but we both smoked pot and did LSD quite a bit. This was a post late 60's period for me. I was hitting the metaphysical books, doing LSD, expanding my consciousness, or so it seemed. I'd known a lot of people who took LSD back in the 60's and early 70's. Most of them seemed to like the high, but never seemed to touch on some of the more "interesting states" that LSD could produce in certain people. Like Tim Leary, Richard Alpert, etc., I seemed to be geared to have the more "mystical" type of experiences with this drug. For me, the high was almost always one of seemingly expanded awareness. The jury is out on whether these "states" were simply a drug triggered effect of so called "higher consciousness" or whether they were they were simply drug produced "hallucinations." Having had similar non-drug induced expansions, my vote is that the drug is simply triggering something within the human potential experience. So to me it seemed more likely that drug like LSD could ignite other regions of the brain that are generally not active in any great measure for any given day and time, but that could possibly become more or less permanent features of the human experience in the future. So who wants some? Anyway back to the story. I was living with this woman, whom I had fallen out of a relationship with these past six months. She was fucking someone else, and although we should have taken this as our cue for one of us to have split, neither of us did. She had a kid and felt like it would be easier for me to go. I was being stubborn and decided I wasn't ready to leave yet either. So there I stayed. It's important to also note that me and my ex-girlfriend did not have an easy time of it since we stopped being "in a relationship." In fact, we fought constantly from all the hatred and jealousy. Sometimes physically. By today's standards it qualified as being abusive and hostile. It was the one time in my life that I physically struck someone I was in a relationship with. In the meantime I started dating a woman named Mandy. Mandy was another product of the 60's generation. She had a brother who thought said he could levitate although nobody, not even Mandy had ever actually seen him do it. Something to do with that Maharishi Mahesh Yogi dude and TM (Transcendental Meditation.) And while also not ever having done any "hard drugs," she had more than her fair share of experience doing pot and psychedelics. We hit it off pretty well and spent a good deal of time together, tripping and smoking pot and fucking. Germane to the story is the child of my ex-girlfriend. This child of about four at the time, although we tried to keep it in check, was present when pot and LSD were being consumed by us and friends from time to time . Some folks today might say, "what an upbringing." And they would probably be right. An aside is that later on I found out that the child, now in his early 30's turned into a hard drug abuser and has already spent a number of years in jail. Backtracking again a bit here, there was one night six months earlier or so before our relationship burned out, when me and my ex-girlfriend had done some LSD. We were both flying pretty high, totally in one of the aforementioned "higher states" of bliss that LSD can impart when I had the bright idea to go and get her son and bring him into the bedroom to delight and play with him. This we did, but were totally unprepared for what happened next. I can absolutely attest that this child had not had any LSD or any drug for that matter ever. In fact in the couple of years we were together we never gave him anything. But what happened is that he started acting extremely weird, as though he were tripping!! We could not believe it, but there it was. He started to get hysterical, hyperactive and "out of control." It seemed that he was freaking out from the "contact high." I've seen cases of contact highs both in myself and with others but nothing this extreme. For the rest of the early dawn hours and into the next afternoon, we spend all our energy trying to calm him down. We finally had to call a psychologist to visit us. Whew. That in itself was weird trying to explain to the shrink that we had done some LSD but that none was given to the child. Eventually as we came back down, so did the child and all was "well." Now what would that be like today if you called DFAX or some doctor and relayed a story like this? But back to the story. So in the summer of that year, we had gotten a supply of magic mushrooms. Me and Mandy had done them a few times and they were great. I remember that one night, a Thursday I believe, I took some of them and started tripping again. I was flying high and enjoying it. I remember putting on my headphones and listening to YES while taking a nice hot bath with candles burning in the bathroom. All was well in psychedelic land. I was "there." About 5 AM in the morning I heard some noise coming out of the child's bedroom. I decided to go have a look. I figured he most have just woke up and I thought I would go and play with him. Cautiously I walked into the bedroom and indeed, he was awake. "Good morning," I said. And the two of us spent time by the bedroom window playing with his toys and laughing up a storm. It was great. We both sat by the window and watched the dawn overtake the night. This was a very magical time. We sat there smiling, laughing and having a great time when all of sudden, the child looked me dead in the eye and uttered words that sent a chill through my whole body. He said, "It's all burned up. It's all burned down.!!!" "What!!!!," I said? He repeated his words with the same chilling effect. Then in a moment the chill was gone and all was like it was a moment before. It was like a very brief crack in the time stream. But we went back to having fun, joy, laughter etc. I made a mental note and gradually forgot about it. The morning light flooded the bedroom and I went and got dressed for the day. Later that morning before I went to sleep I called Mandy and she agreed to come over that night, to do some mushrooms with me. After that I finally laid down and fell into a blissful sleep until about four in the afternoon. When I woke up, I readied myself for my "date." Mandy came over around 7 PM. We took out some mushrooms and ingested them. In about thirty or forty minutes they were taking effect. We spent the time in my tapestried, candle lit, psychedelic bedroom and smoked a little grass. It felt like it was going to be another great trip. At around 9:30 PM I asked Mandy if she wanted to go for a walk around the block? She agreed and off we went. My ex-girlfriend, her son and our five cats were all home at the time. Leaving to go for the walk, we started leisurely strolling around the block. The night was beautiful, the high was great and we could do not wrong! About halfway around the block I thought I heard someone call my name. "Did you hear that?" I asked. Mandy said she didn't hear anything, but a few seconds later I heard it again. I told Mandy, "Hey, that's my ex-girlfriend, she's calling my name." This time Mandy heard it too. We hurried around the block and by the time we got to the corner, we couldn't believe our eyes. There, midway in the block right about where my house was, was a crowd of people!! It was all my neighbors staring at my home!!! I could not believe my eyes, and wondered for moment if I was hallucinating. This thought was quickly dispelled by the reality of the smoke and fire which were pouring out of my bedroom window as we got closer!!! "Holy shit, that's my house. It can't be." My ex-girlfriend was outside screaming at the top of her lungs. I stood there for a moment and tried to make sense out of the speed at which all this happened. We weren't gone more than ten minutes! How could this happen this quickly?? But fires are like that. Fast and furious. Convinced that it couldn't be that bad, I had a brainstorm. I decided that I could run into the house, go to the bathroom on the top floor and fill a bucket with water and easily put out the fire which couldn't possibly have done too much damage in such a short time. WRONG. I tried and couldn't get even halfway up the stairs, so intense was that heat. It was like putting my head into an oven. Oh well, scratch that idea. A few minutes later the fire department got there and they started fighting the fire. My ex-girlfriend, her son and all but one of our cats had gotten out okay. Thank god. But me and Mandy stood there, stoned out of our skull, watching the house go up in smoke. "Smoke!!!, The Pot, the mushrooms!!!, holy shit. What if the fire department or the police find them?" That was a real concern, not the least of which was because this is the house that we're renting from a NYC cop!!! I was pretty damn sure this was going to end up with me going to jail again. But the gods were with us. By the time the fire was out and the last cop and firemen were out of there, I started to breath a sigh of relief. "Can I go upstairs," I asked the fire chief. "My clothes, money and guitars are up there." I was really concerned to get the pot and mushrooms out of the freezer. The fire chief smiled at me, told us that it was not safe to go up there now, but he said, "Hey, the stuff in the freezer is okay!!" He knew. They found it and left it alone!!! What luck. As the crowed thinned out, we realized what happened. A candle left burning in my bedroom had set fire to one of the many tapestries that hung on my wall. We both stood there wondering where to go and what to do next. Mandy suggested we go up to a friends house in Connecticut. It sounded like a good idea to me too. "But what about the clothes I'm wearing," I said. They were filled with the smell of smoke. Mandy said, "Well, I'll just tell my friend that you're really burned out and need a place to crash!" Some joke. We both laughed for minute. But walking to our car it hit me like a ton of bricks. My ex-girlfriends son's words of that very morning. "It's all burned out. It's all burned down." What in the fuck? I mean, then and now, what can you make of that? What? I leave it up to you. Gizmo PS. The next day we got the pot and mushrooms safely out of the burned out freezer. PPS: More stuff coming