I keep a small lizard friend, friend,
Whose safety I’ll gladly defend, d’fend,
Till he itches his toes
On my eyebrow or nose–
But my dignity’s not hard to mend, mend.

I got him from a little gnome, gnome,
Who said, ‘This one needs a good home, home,
But just you watch out
For you’ll soon have no doubt
He’s mischief in every small bone, bone.’

And he looked at me with eyes wide, wide,
And he snuggled up to my side, side.
Faced by innocence pure,
I said, ‘Are you sure?’
–and he scrambled my head for a ride, ride.

Chorus:
So he lizards high and then low, low,
He lizards where lizards shouldn’t go, go,
He dreams lizard dreams
And eats crickets by teams
And what he thinks, we’ll never know, know!

I rarely have trouble with flies, flies,
For they’re all just lunch to his eyes, eyes.
If one buzzes near
Then it’s rapidly clear
He’ll gulp it before it can rise, rise.

When mischief’s round, he’s who I blame, blame,
He blinks back with no trace of shame, shame,
For the small lizard knows
If affection he shows
Then it quenches my anger’s full flame, flame.

(chorus)

He’ll sleep as the cities we walk, walk,
And sleep through the forests we stalk, stalk,
But when I seek bed
And lay down sleepy head
He bites me.  ‘Shall we have a talk?’

(chorus)

Crickets he’ll joyfully munch, munch,
And wash down with rainwater punch, punch.
If I fail to feed
One small Lizard In Need
He’ll substitute my ear for his lunch, lunch.

There’s one problem I didn’t suppose, s’pose,
If affection my dear sweetheart shows, shows,
My lizard will hiss
At an innocent kiss
And chomp him quite hard on the nose, nose.

(chorus)

Someday I’ll be a great mage, mage,
And through my spellbook I will page, page,
I’ll learn one small spell
And remember it well
And then all your mischief I’ll cage, cage.

So we wander through midnight and day, day,
A lizard and maid on their way, way,
Though brave we appear
We will oft run in fear
Despite what your parents may say, say.

(chorus)