Hey you! Yeah, you!  I've come to meet
The man who runs this town,
For it's mine now-- I hope this wins
Your smile, and not your frown.

The silver and the gems alike
Seem yours, but all are mine.
You'd rather keep them close, you say?
Well-- er-- I guess that's fine....

I strut, I pose, I posture,
and you can't pronounce my name.
You've never heard of me, you say?
Should that affect my claim?

I am a mighty warrior,
I hit things with my axe,
And when the merchants meander by
I pay my Four Winds tax.

Should any lass not yield to me,
I will be quite irate!
Chocolate?  Roses?  Dinner?
Could I pick you up at eight?

There's not a single one disputes
My claim upon this place--
I'm pleased to see the very thought
Brings laughter to your face.

No monster will survive long
Past the gates while I'm on guard!
I slay them fiercely one by one--
They're rolton, it's not hard.

Should any stronger come and seek
To claim my city fair,
The well-trained guards will hear my call
And help will soon be there.

I bow my knee to not a man,
So all should quake and heed!
I'll be back in an hour,
I'm out offering for a deed.

Should any in my absence disobey,
They flirt with doom!
Just track me down and tell me,
I'll be napping in my room.