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Text in white is the words of the song.
Text in orange indicates whatever changes I made for this stage.
Text in green shows the current performance of the song beyond the most recent changes.
Text in blue is my commentary on the most recent changes.
Text in purple indicates the notes taken on the performance.


When singing this song, I want to convey that it is about a fairly down-to-earth type who simply made the rather painful mistake of falling in love-- someone the audience can more readily empathize with.  As a result, this outfit will be rather less glittery than Tanager's normal costuming preferences.  Since it's a ranger, I favor green and brown....

Costuming notes:
a braided black leather hair tie - I'd have to buy one of these off the amulet, but it shouldn't be too hard to find.  This would be the most expensive item on the list.
a crystal amulet - this was originally under "props", but, since it will be worn, qualifies as "costuming" now.
a faded green travelling cloak - from Flashfeet's Fine Fashions in Icemule Trace
a raven black leather lysard case - I prefer to carry this with me, when possible, rather than entrusting it into another's hands
a brown cotton shirt - from Dara's Salon in Wehnimer's Landing
a diamond engagement ring - like the lysard case, I do not leave some things readily behind, performance or no.  I might tuck it into a pocket of the lysard case.
a mottled brown leather belt - the belt is from Solhaven, with the hue added in the Wehnimer's Landing dye tent.
a green leather sheath - same as the crystal amulet, and purchased from the general story in Wehnimer's Landing
some faded baggy brown trousers - from Flashfeet's Fine Fashions in Icemule Trace
some high laced elk hide boots - from Flashfeet's Fine Fashions in Icemule Trace

Props list:
a silvery grey broadsword
a beribboned feathered tambourine

start off kneeling at the back left of the stage

draw the broadsword

leave the broadsword "behind" somewhere on the stage at the very beginning

get my tambourine

stand

play my tambourine soft

begin walking forward and right, approaching stage center

Tonight, when I step from my haven,
My weapon and shield stay behind.
Tonight, when I walk through my forest,
I ache with need but half-defined.

continue walking

play my tambourine fast

If my heart were a hill troll attacking,
I would drop it with razor-thorned spell.
If my heart were a stumbling child,
I would leave it to starve where it fell.

stop walking at the front of stage center

remove crystal amulet

play my tambourine soft

Tonight, every foreign mind whispering
Abrades on hopes shattered and rent.
Tonight, I step out of my forest
Like a nightmare the jackal-lord sent.

throw crystal amulet to the floor

play my tambourine fast

If my heart were a late-blooming rose,
I would cut it to die on the vine.
If my heart were a last beam of sun
I would shade my brown skin from its shine.

play my tambourine soft

move towards the right side of the stage

Tonight, I drift lost through the grasslands
Disturbing no plant’s trailing leaf.
Tonight, I walk into your city
In shadow, like bandit or thief.

descend the stairs on the right side

play my tambourine fast

move right to be in the center and in front of the audience

If my heart were a fluttering bird
I would cage it close, no more to fly.
If my heart were a swift-spinning spider,
I would wait: with the frost, it would die.

play my tambourine soft

Tonight, as I shadow your doorway,
My wishes twine, tangle, and lace.
The rain starts to fall from above
And hides the lost tears on my face.

hang head

play my tambourine fast

If my heart were a grovelling servant
I’d dismiss her before end of day.
If my heart were a path in the forest
I’d turn to seek some other way.

sigh, look at the audience

play my tambourine soft

Tonight, knowledge stalks towards perception,
And I see that you’re not coming home.
I turn like a spirit retreating
And leave streets for leaf mold and loam.

walk to the right

play my tambourine fast

And my heart is no troll and no rose-vine,
And my heart is no servant or child.
It grants and steals strength as if dicing
And it manifests passioned and wild.

climb the steps, let tension build, move towards the stage center, look at the audience again

play my tambourine frantic

And there’s naught I can do to stop weeping
Or to pick up my shattered control.
Somewhere you dance in your city,
And, knowing, my heart is not whole.

turn away from the audience, retreat towards the broadsword

play my tambourine soft

come back to the broadsword, pick up the broadsword again

kneel down

Tonight, I sit under wet branches
And whisper an unanswered prayer.
In the morning, unthinking, I reach out--

stop playing soft

reach out, pause, hang head again

of course, you’re not there....
 



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