Halcyon Festival 5101: A Kobold in the Landing

(Each year, River's Rest celebrates the Halcyon Festival when the kingfishers return to the river. I do not transcribe my daily events, and, as a result, this transcription includes only a few brief notes taken at the time rather than properly including surroundings, those present, and so forth. This is what happened when my First Guard and I were challenged to take on the impromptu roles of a kobold and a Lord in a skit.)

(Jacinto strolls back and forth like the mighty heroic and doughty adventurer he is.)

You rub your chin thoughtfully.

You trudge back and forth.

You blink.

You frown.

(Tanager hunches over slightly, reducing her height by about a foot.)

You gaze in wonder at your surroundings.

Jacinto says, "It's a lovely day, and a lovely day to be strolling around with my too expensive armor, handling my too expensive pet goat, and thinking about how heroic I am."

Jacinto smiles.

You say, "Blargh."

You frown.

You gaze in wonder at your surroundings.

Jacinto says, "I see nothing at all, but my own wake."

Jacinto smiles.

Jacinto says, "And the legions of drooling admirers."

You say, "Lost sheep. Where was sheep? Chasing moment ago...."

Jacinto says, "Oh my."

You blink.

You exclaim, "Scary!"
Jacinto says, "It's short....and it's not drooling."

You cower away from Jacinto.

You drool.

Jacinto says, "I think I remember those."

Jacinto says, "Well, now it's drooling."

You say, "Might be good for food... oooo."

Jacinto says, "But I'm not sure that it's a female admirer."

You carefully examine Jacinto's physique and figure he weighs about 219 pounds.

Jacinto asks, "What was this about a sheep?"

(Jacinto peers at Tanager.)

You say, "Lost sheep. Chasing sheep."

You frown.

Jacinto says, "I think I remember sheep."

You exclaim, "Blargh!"

Jacinto exclaims, "Ahhh. Hmmm. Err.......let me get my map!"

You rub your chin thoughtfully.

You trudge back and forth.

(Jacinto produces a large, little used map of the Landing.)

You trudge up to Jacinto.

You attempt to kick Jacinto!
MB: 17 vs MB: 232 = -215 -- Lose advantage!
THT 82, d100 roll: 47, modified: -168
A clean miss.
Roundtime: 30 sec.

(Jacinto pores over his map.)

You say, "Oops."

You blush a nice shade of deep red.

(Jacinto shows the map to the kobold.)

Tanager smiles as she kicks Jacinto in the shin.

You exclaim, "Blargh!"

Jacinto exclaims, "Yeoooowch!"

(Tanager accepts the map from Jacinto and studies it upside down.)

You remove a yellowed parchment map from in your gold-hemmed cloak.

You try to eat your parchment map.

(Jacinto wobbles about in his too expensive armor.)

You rub your chin thoughtfully.

Jacinto exclaims, "Ack....you're eating my map!"

You try to eat your parchment map.

You say, "Mmmmm."

You beam!

Jacinto exclaims, "And I....I stalk the void bravely!"

You try to eat your parchment map.

Jacinto exclaims, "I do not think of sheep!"

You exclaim, "Blargh!"

You exclaim, "Find my sheep!"

Jacinto says, "I think mighty thoughts."

You kick Jacinto!

You put a yellowed parchment map in your gold-hemmed cloak.

Jacinto exclaims, "Yeooowwwch!"

You say, "Hmm...."

You rub your chin thoughtfully.

You say, "No sheep... but....."

Jacinto says, "Hmmm. Sheep."

(Tanager eyes Jacinto thoughtfully.)

You stick out your tongue.

Jacinto says, "Hmm."

(Tanager licks her lips.)
>
Jacinto says, "Oh no. Stay back."

You exclaim, "Blargh! Ise aiming for this one!"

You beam at Jacinto.

Jacinto exclaims, "I am older than my own grandmother!"

>You hurl yourself at Jacinto!

It's a bit trickier than it looked, your body goes wide and you land in a heap on the ground.
Roundtime: 8 sec.

Jacinto exclaims, "Argh!"

(Tanager wraps her arms around Jacinto's ankle.)

Jacinto says, "Fear my horrific age."

Tanager smiles delightedly up at Jacinto and attempts to chew off his ankle.

(Jacinto runs around........dragging the Tanager kobold behind him.)

You exclaim, "Blargh!"

You thrash around on the floor.

(Jacinto runs about Wehnimer's....looking for a way to escape.)

You exclaim, "Now you come home with me!"

Jacinto exclaims, "No! No!"

Jacinto exclaims, "This place is so common!"

You exclaim, "Ise feed you to lots uv little kobold babies!"

You beam!

Jacinto exclaims, "I can't handle it!"

(Jacinto runs directly into a large mean black rolton.)

Jacinto falls over.

You exclaim, "Sheeps!"

(Tanager hugs an imaginary sheep and then flings herself out of the way of imagined fangs.)

You exclaim, "Missed you!"

You beam!

(Jacinto is quite stunned, his beautiful armor and tremendous breath of years (really?) doing him no good.)

You stand back up.

You exclaim, "Ha!"

You say, "Got sheep..."

You exclaim, "And dinner!"
You poke Jacinto in the ribs.

You point at Jacinto.

You strike a heroic pose.

You exclaim, "Blargh!"

(Jacinto thrashes around.)

You dance around the room to music only you can hear.

You say, "I take you to my mukt."
Jacinto exclaims, "But....but....I found your sheep!"

(Tanager nods firmly.)

You say, "Sheep good for dinner. You good for...."

(Tanager leers dramatically.)

(Jacinto gets dragged off to Kobold land.)

You grab Jacinto and try to drag him, but he is too heavy.

You duck your head.

You say, "I think we're done."