Watching

I am watching her without blinking, silent and motionless.  Our connection must be very strong for me to be drawn into her fantasy. She is watching me too, through misty eyes. Does she wish it was me that is doing this to her?

I am in the turbolift, stuck between decks five and six, and I am powerless to do anything about the thing I am seeing. Such torture to see her doing this, being fucked by Mark, her hair a mess and half naked, her pants still around her ankle. She does not look much like a captain right now.

I can hear him grunting words of love and lust in her ear, crude and detailed and they seem to excite her. I can tell she is aroused, panting and moaning as her nipples chafe against the harsh fabric of his sweater.

He is taking her hard, as if to claim her once more.  I wonder what she thinks of this. Is it this she has missed? The sex, the being wanted, the lust?  She clings to him, jerking violently against the wall panel, unable to match his rhythm. 

The longer I watch her the more I am convinced she does not know how wonderful it can be. She knows sex but I doubt she has ever learned to make love. Certainly not from Mark. Her cry of pain as he entered her still rings in my ears. Does he not care about her needs? But as I hear him telling her how good she has been I realize he needed to convince himself she had not cheated on him. I wish I could pull him from her and show him how a special woman like my captain should be treated. But I am unable to move, even to blink. I cannot close my eyes to prevent me seeing her being used.

He tells her again she has been good as he bites her neck and chin.  Now he grunts coarsely and assaults her mouth, plundering her with his urgency, bruising her.  She keeps watching me, through the grey wispy hair of the man who kisses and fucks her. Her fiancé.

He pounds her, shortly suckling her breasts. I cannot imagine how he can let go of them, so lovely, so perfect. I so much want to lavish them with my attention, licking and nibbling on her nipples. I want to lick much more of her, my tongue exploring all of her body, but especially at special place between her legs. How I would love to lick her and keep her coming again and again. Oh, how I would love to taste her. 

But it is not to be since I am standing here frozen and he does not even grant her that bit of pleasure. He is only willing to arouse her with his fingers. Earlier on she spread her legs exposing her core and begged him. She begged him and he just looked at her. I cannot tell how, for his back is to me, but she looks like a little girl being scalded for bad behavior.

Her back slams and it must hurt her, only her thin uniform jacket between her and the hard bulkhead.  Mark is close I know.  Soon he will grunt and fill her with his sperm, thick and yeasty. 

Suddenly the connection with my captain is broken. Her eyes still look at me, but I can tell her focus is inward. Is this really how it is for her? Her trying to force her own orgasm? The thought that she planned to spend her life with this guy who only takes her for his own pleasure makes me sick. She keens and arches, whimpers and bucks, calling out for God’s help.  Once again she concentrates on me. Is she dreaming that it is me pounding her?

I continue to watch as she is getting fucked by her fiancé, watch Mark’s arse pistoning, driving him deeper and deeper into her body.  I see Mark’s last faltering strokes and witnesses her face collapse in disappointment, glistening with tears of frustration and longing.

She cries as she is filled with Mark’s burning ejaculate and cries as he pledges his love and gratitude.  His final comment hurts her though, I can tell. He calls her ungrateful, because she wants more. And she deserves so much more.

Suddenly I realize that our connection might still be there and I try to force my fantasy forward. For the moment I do not care if she wants me or not. All I want to do is show her how it can be. To give her the pleasure she deserves. There is no risk of damaging protocol now. We can both attribute this to our current dreamstate. It is ok to dream. We can always blame it on the Bothan.

Slowly I can feel my own thoughts getting stronger and suddenly Mark is standing in the corner of the lift, helplessly watching as I was before. I am able to move now and I take a step towards Kathryn.

She does not see me, as her face is upturned with her eyes closed, her own hand trying to relieve the tension still flowing through her veins. I still her hand with my own and her head snaps up, mortified at being found out. Shame fills her eyes before they move to the ground. I call out her name softly, but her eyes stay on the floor, her hand still in between her legs under mine. I use my other hand to tip her face back up and give her a soft kiss.

‘Please don’t be embarrassed, Kathryn. Let me help you with that’ I say, as I softly stroke her hand. She simply nods, but I can still see the embarrassment on her face. It might take a while to get her ready again but I do not mind. This way I can fulfill my whole fantasy, not just the last part. And the turbolift was not my place of choice anyway.

I help her get dressed again and command the turbolift to deck two. As we walk to her quarters I put an arm around her waist and she returns it. We leave Mark alone in the turbolift.

We have to let go of each other to enter her quarters. She goes in first and as I follow I see her standing forlorn in the middle of the room. I shortly wonder if she has changing her mind, but as I call her name she turns into my embrace. I nuzzle her hair as she breathes in deeply, sniffing up my scent. I stroke my hands over her arms from her shoulders down and when I come to her hands I take them in mine and guide her to the bathroom.

A part of me wonders if Kathryn is this pliant in real life. Somehow I always thought her to be a more active participant. Then it suddenly hits me that this is my fantasy and Kathryn shares my earlier thoughts about who is to blame. She will go along with me, but to return my actions would be acknowledging what we have been trying to deny for so long.

I turn on the shower and I slowly undress her, admiring the beauty as it slowly appears from beneath the armour of her uniform. After shedding my own clothes I step into the shower cubicle and reach out my hand to her. She takes it and steps in, standing close to me. For a moment I just let the water cascade over us, and then I reach out for the shampoo. How I have longed to wash her hair from the moment I first saw some tendrils coming lose in the battle with the Kazon. She tilts her head back and relaxes into my hands massaging her scalp.

After rinsing out her hair I grab the soap and work up some nice lather between my hands. I start soaping her at her shoulders, slowly working down her right arm and then her left. My hands move up along her arms and now start spreading the suds over her breasts. She inhales sharply as I touch her nipples that harden under my touch. I do not linger too long though, keen on washing everything that is Mark away from her body.

I see understanding in her eyes and she spreads her legs leaning back against the wall, a silent invitation to erase all evidence of her encounter a short time ago in the turbolift. I immediately submit to her silent request and then continue to wash her legs and feet.

As I move back up I wrap her tightly in my arms and she winces. Understanding dawns as I remember how she was bumped roughly against the wall of that lift time and again. I turn her around slowly and can see the tell tale bruises starting to show. A flash of anger courses through me before I reign it in as it is not what Kathryn needs most now.

Intending to fix them before we go on I wrap a towel around my waist and let Kathryn wrap a towel around her head so her hair won’t drip. She lets me dry the rest of her with a large fluffy towel.

I lead her into the bedroom where I ask her to lay on her stomach on the bed. I get the small dermal regenerator from the emergency med kit I always keep in my quarters and run it over her back untill the bruises disappear. After they are all gone I put some lotion on my hands and give her a massage, starting at the knots in her neck slowly working down to her shoulders and lower back. Kathryn moans and sighs, gasping as my fingers accidentally brush her breasts on the sides.

I intend to ignore my own desire for now to focus completely on Kathryn and I can smell her arousal as I move my hands even lower to massage her backside, sometimes letting my fingers get tantalizing close to the inside of her legs. She spreads them a little in silent invitation. I am not ready to give her that yet, so I turn her over on her back and place small featherlight kisses on her face, moving from her forehead to her closed eyes, the tip of her nose and finally my mouth finds hers.

Kathryn opens her mouth under mine and soon our tongues wrap around each other, each trying to get the upper hand and exploring more of the other’s warm cavern in turn.

As we continue our kisses my fingers start their own exploration and trace lines along her colar bones and down between the valley of her breasts. She arches her back, pushing her breasts up towards me and there is no way I will deny her. Letting go of her mouth I move back a little to look at the pale mounds she is offering and I am brought to tears by her beauty. My fingers move around her peaks, ever slowly spiraling inwards towards the nipples that beg me for attention untill I caress them softly.

She pushes herself up more and I rub her more vigiourously, using my thumbs now, trying to read what her body is telling me. There is a lot I know about my captain, but what brings her pleasure is part of her I have not been allowed to see and probably will never again. Kathryn soon helps me out though as she moves her hands over mine and squeezes softly. As I gently start kneading her breasts she lets go of my hands and once more gives herself over to the feelings I am provoking, moaning softly.

Seeing her like this I cannot wait to taste her and I close my mouth around one of her hard peaks letting my tongue rub it. I relish in the groans this elicits and change to a more enthousiastic sucking. She winces and lets out another groan, one of pain this time and I immediately let go of that thought and soothe her with soft lickes and kisses. I feel bad for hurting her but her hand moves softly through my hair, stroking and shuffling it to let me know she is fine.

I cannot get enough of her breasts and keep moving between them for a long time, lavishing them with attention, listening to the hard gasps of her breath.

The desperate moves of her legs trying to ease the ache between them finally make me have mercy. I sit back, put my hands under her knees and in one swift move I open them and push my head between them. She half sits up and cries out loudly in surprise as my mouth makes contact with her wet folds, but drops back immediately, giving me free reign.

I lap at the saltiness untill her jerking motion signals I have found the treasure I have been looking for. My fingers spread her lips so I have better access to lick her little nub while her hands move through my hair.

I am surprised at how soon she comes. Only a few strokes of my tongue it took to crash her over the edge. Most women I have been with took a lot more time. But then again, Kathryn had been on the edge since Mark spilled himself inside her earlier. I try to move away but Kathryn grabs my hair, holding my head in place and I oblige her, making her come again and again.

Only when my tongue is getting tired I pry her hands out of my hair and move up along her body. She whimpers as if feeling abandoned untill she feels my erection teasing her, sliding back and forth through her wetness. I try to enter her slowly, knowing she must be sore from Mark’s sudden entry and his pistoning movements earlier, but she is having none of that. She bucks up and grabs my buttocks to pull me in in one move.

As her heat surrounds me I know I will not last long and her bucking forces me into a fast rhythm. Unable to stop myself I thrust deeply into her until after a few strokes I explode inside her, filling her with my essence.

I am disappointed that I could not last long enough to take her with me over the edge but Kathryn’s gentle caresses soon make me realize I should not focus on that right now. The memory of this encounter will have to sustain me for a long time and I prefer to look back on it as the special gift it is.  

THE END